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Nailed It! New Year, Bad Cooks

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It’s inevitable. Since the beginning of blogs, Pinterest, and other inspiring websites,  DIY fails have become an epidemic in this society. Creative artisans display their talent, and the average peasant thinks they can duplicate the exact masterpiece, only to learn they suck at crafts.  The best of those fails though are by far in the category of cooking. It seems that most people don’t understand that the recipes on these sites have been created and executed by chefs with years of culinary training under their belts. Well, regardless of experience, we’ve decided to assure all you mediocre chefs out there that you are not the only ones who have the ability to make food look inedible. Check out these pictures of people who tried and failed to cook…anything. You all really nailed it!

No Cake Should Be a Pop

cake pops for nailed it (via)

It very well could just be my opinion, much like all my criticisms, but I will never believe that cake needs to be in the form of a pop. I know it is trendy because “Starbucks says so.”, but let us be honest here, cake is meant to be cut, placed on a plate, and eaten with a fork. The reason I am so against cake pops you may ask? Because how is the average cook supposed to make them look like anything other than the mess above. If I wasn’t told this is a cake pop, I would have thought it was a 2nd graders paper mache model of the solar system drying.

For Dessert: Cow Liver

Strawberry cake for nailed it (via)

Why this cake was ever photographed is beyond my comprehension. Had I ever created such a visually impairing dessert I would trash it before anyone ever laid eyes on such an obscene site. There is really no other way to describe this “strawberry jello cake” other than saying it looks strangely like the innards of a cow. I pity the person who tried that square piece in the lower left hand corner of the tray. I am sure he/she spent the rest of the night in the bathroom.

The Importance of Pam

angel food cake for nailed it (via)

My  friends, the disaster above is the reason we never underestimate the powers of cooking spray. I have no idea what this cake was supposed to be in the first place, but what I do know is that all of it was supposed to slide out of the pan. The one mistake could lead to a perfectly delightful dessert gone completely wrong. You know that saying, “we all have that friend…” It goes well in this situation. We all have that friend who completely ruins a dessert by forgetting to spray the damn pan.

The Dark Side of the Moon

chocolate cake for nailed it (via)

I have to be honest, neither one of these cakes looks like a prize, but at least the top one looks edible. The fail in this comparison really looks as though it was taken out of a local garbage dump, brushed off a little, and served to a frightened group of guests. The faded brown coloring makes me nervous to know what actually went into that icing. The fuzzy texture of the top of the cake doesn’t help convince me that this isn’t actually a rodent waiting to unfurl and attack mid bite. Everything about this cake makes me question the sanity of the cook.

Way to Destroy A Morning

cinnabun for nailed it (via)

There is nothing more devastating than smelling the sweet scents of a savory dessert rise from the oven, only to pull out this tray of crap. Cinnabuns are undoubtedly one of the most difficult breakfast desserts to make. Getting them doughy, yet cooked enough to ensure that they won’t make you s**t your pants as soon as you get to work is a difficult task, but this really is a crime. These are unworthy of glaze, and even more undeserving of a morning person.

It may be a new year, but the cooking is just as bad!